1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I украл, палантин a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag Ты down and beat Ты with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make Ты Christian even еще then standing in a гараж makes Ты a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the Список though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at Главная even if Ты wish they were.

8. I thought I wanted a career- turns out all I wanted was paychecks.

9. At a train station a train stops. At a bus station a bus stops. At my desk, I have a work station. Thats where my work stops.

10. When tempted to fight огонь with огонь remember the огонь department usually uses water.

11. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

12. You're never too old to learn something extremely stupid.

13. I'm not crazy- I'm just mentally insane.

14. Don't die. Its bad for your health.

15. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a white акула или if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

16. why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for miss america?