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When life gives Ты lemons, make оранжевый сок and leave the world wondering how the heck Ты did it.

That's just the way the cookie crumbles... All over my clean new shirt.

If at first Ты don't succeed, destroy everything.

An яблоко a день can keep any doctor away if Ты throw it hard enough.

Don't worry if Plan A fails, there's 25 еще letters in the alphabet.

Do Ты believe in Любовь at first sight, или should I walk by again?

Weird? Nah, I prefer the term, "Avant-Garde"

Who says nothing's impossible? I've been doing it for years.

My mother texted me: “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, Любовь you, talk to Ты later.” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister.”

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download Еда from the internet.

Dear life, when I asked if my день could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

I'm not clumsy, it's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the Стена gets in the way.

That annoying moment when Ты finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, Ты need to use the restroom.

Ты don't notice the air, at least until someone spoils it.

Aim for the moon! Even if Ты miss, you'll land among the stars! But either way, you'll run out of oxygen eventually.

Hmm.... I could kill this person and nobody would notice.... Wait a minute. WHAT THE HELL BRAIN!?

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

When a bird hits your window have Ты ever wondered if God's playing Angry Birds with you?

"Just five еще minutes!" Always means the person will never get ready. :D

Whenever you're feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”.

Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

That moment when Ты see a YouTube channel with the usual blue anonymous person on it, but with a spider, and Ты think it's real.

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

Have Ты ever had a fly или small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

Be nice to nerds, chances are you’ll end up working for one.

I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.

Me talking to anyone else: "Hey, what's up? :D" Me talking to a girl I like: "uH HelO hOWZ yU dNGoi toDAY? @__@"

It doesn't matter whether Ты win или lose, what matters is if I win или lose.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, fires, screaming, my work here is done. :D

Don't steal, lie, cheat, или sell drugs. The government hates competition!

Keep talking, maybe someday I'll finally listen.

I was wondering why the Black Knight's shovel was getting bigger, then it hit me!

Pac-Man: "I see dead people..."

(Hope Ты enjoyed! If we can get 5 fans, I'll add more! ^___^)
LOL
added by Alexyss_Cullen
Source: tumblr
added by msanders2008
added by EminemAddict09
Source: my awesomeness
added by Cyrusrocks
Source: no idea
posted by nmdis
Dream it Out Loud

How do Ты speak in silence?
Why do Ты sleep when you're awake?
If we just cut the tie lines, then we can simply sail away.
Pack up your things. Write it all down.
You'll soon be accustomed to the sound.

Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.

I want to paint in colors.
Leaving the land of black and white.
And if we do go back there, we'll see it in a different light.
Ready to go. Open the door.
Just like the rain falls from the cloud.

Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.
Dream it out loud.

It's a better day.
We're on our way.
If there's anything we can't remember.
Who's to say it's not all just a dream.

Don't have to think about it.
Just like a river it will flow.
We waited to long without it.
If we just get up now and go.
Open your eyes and look around.
You'll be surprised what Ты have found.

Dream it out loud. (x 10)
(I'm dreaming. Keep on dreaming.) (x10)
"Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. еще than machinery, we need humanity. еще than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness." - Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator

“If we are to have faith in justice. We need only to believe in ourselves. And act with justice. I believe there is justice in our hearts.” - Paul Newman, The Verdict

“The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game. Every minute. Every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone...
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posted by haliethefangirl
How To Annoy People In An Elevator
Ask, “did Ты hear that cable snapping sound?”
Call the psychic hotline from Ты cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
>>> click here for еще

Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates
Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe breaks the silence w/ a bodily function noise.
Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
Stick your open palm under the stall wall...
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posted by SymmaGirl2
Just a couple of song titles. I'll add "in my pants" to the end of each one to keep it interesting! XD Here goes~!
Cool Edition...in my pants.
Just Dance...in my pants.
Mr. Wonderful...in my pants.
Alcohol...in my pants.
Let's Boil Hot Water...in my pants.
Firetruck...in my pants.
Thriller...in my pants.
I Like Hamburgers...in my pants.
Go Google It...in my pants.
Ten Faced...in my pants.
Parallel Days...in my pants.
Little ударник, барабанщик Boy...in my pants.
Secret Princes...in my pants.
Moonlit Marionette...in my pants.
Meltdown...in my pants.
Prison...in my pants.
Labyrinth Butterfly...in my pants.
Beside Me...in...
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posted by mandali
A Child's Mind

A child's mind is so soft a clay
mold it to into anything Ты may
it's tender and innocent so, for the moment
let it free to play!

Nothing does it know, of the Life's Dirty Play
For it life is all Bright and Gay
It is True, Sweet and Pure
But the way it is, Let it stay!

For in this world of misery and grief
To my mind is a relief,
that a Temple of Innocence
in the world still does exist!

-Siri Mandali

Hope Ты like it, I've Опубликовано it in my blog too :) - link
posted by Animetama
Here are some tips on getting a shy или quiet girl, please read closley but try not to over read it.

1: Make her laugh, she loves to laugh and have a good time.

2: Don't force her to open up right away, get to know her, Ты may be surprized (in a good way).

3: Smile, she wants to know if you're happy too. But don't fake a smile.

4: Don't be too silly, или too serious, as сказал(-а) before, she wants to have a good time.

5: if she rejects your offers, then it means she may not be intrerested in you.

6: Hang out with her, if your still in school, then that's a good oppertunity to every once in awhile hang...
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The Falling Man
One of the most haunting Обои captured from 9/11, it shows a man free-falling after he has jumped from one of the windows of North Tower. He was one of the people they call “Jumpers”, who chose to jump to their death rather than get suffocated by the smoke или get buried under the rubble. Some called them cowards, while some sensationalized them as tragic symbols of 9/11. But the fact of the matter is, it was a hard choice for anyone to make, and one can not really judge the decisions a person makes in times like these.

People, Ты rant so much about how Ты have a hard time making choices. Whether Ты should work on your assignment или go out with your friends. Whether Ты should дата this guy или that guy. Whether Ты should break up with your boyfriend или not. Whether Ты should wear the розовый блузка или the baby blue one.



Imagine the choice this man had to make.....
posted by GreenerPastures
These are some reasons why I abso-flipping-lutely Любовь my smashing country Kenya:
1-Its where the President of the sovereign United States of America traces his roots,albeit a little too far off.
2- Its the only place Ты can hear phrases like:"Omera,yawa, who do Ты think Ты are messing with? Don't Ты know that my brother has a friend who wipes the office of a man who makes long-distance calls to the friend of a man who works with the president of the FBI who talks face-to-face with Obama, therefore I have American blood flowing in my veins?" Yet the poor guy is as black as coal.
3-The glam...
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posted by Tamar20
Enemies and haters can be annoying and their Комментарии and insults can upset you. Learn how to deal with it...

1)If Ты don’t know why they hate you, ask them calmly and nicely. If they are nasty to Ты или start swearing или being violent, walk away and don’t bother trying to talk to them again until they have calmed down или until they talk to Ты nicely. Some people can be дана секунда chances to realize that Ты aren’t really a bad person and they have nothing to hate Ты for. But some people just won’t like Ты in life, so don’t waste your time fretting about why they don’t like...
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Some people may ask, "Why Invader Zim first?" I say SCREW IT, ILL DO WHAT I WANT! In any case, the Показать is one of my favorites. It represents a better time for Nick. Better shows, better actors, better Nick. Altough this is a time since past, Nicktoons has made the GENIUS(sp?) decision to bring it back.
If Ты look at the definition of Invader Zim on Wikipedia(again, sp?), it says that IZ employs a comedy style called "black comedy". Basically, this means that IZ uses dark methods of humor, such as the gluttonus "Bloaty the пицца Hog", или perhaps just the dark scenery in IZ (it gives a very...
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if someone is annoying you, just say "they're not even worth my time."


if someone is making Ты upset, just say "look how carless and mean he/she/they are/is."


if someone doesn't believe you, just say "i can't do anything to change your mind."


if someone doesn't like the way Ты are, или they want to change something about you, say "i didn't make myself like this. this is how i was born. take me as i am, или don't accept me at all."


if someone is bullying Ты for "no reason", it's because they like you, или is jealous of you, или it's the spirits clashing.
posted by Icepaw_Kenobi
Found this online...
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give Ты a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if Ты can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your день been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream,...
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31 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

Written by a guy. After years of experience.

1. Whatever Ты do, don't just Показать up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and Ты will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to Kiss in...
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posted by invadercalliope
I hope Ты enjoy!
:D
20 Funny Quotes
1:You tries your best and Ты failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
2:I didn't lose my mind, I just sold it on eBay
3:A good friend will bail Ты out of jail, a best friend will be sitting Далее to Ты saying "Dude that was freakin awesome!"
4:Accept that some days you're the pigeon. and some days you're the statue
5:There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the берег like an idiot.
6:Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted
7:Never give up things that once made Ты smile
8:Clear as a колокол, колокольчик, белл my nody сказал(-а) "Listen fatty...do it and die
9:Caution water on...
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posted by karpach_14
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Титаник first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character или the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't...
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FRIENDS: Lend Ты their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat или drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why Ты have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail Ты out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting Далее to Ты sayin "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen Ты cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else Ты cried...just laugh about it with Ты in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS:...
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