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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    A king size water-bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
•    If Ты spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
•    A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
•    If Ты hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Бэтмен underwear and a Супермен cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
•    You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling Фан is on. A ceiling Фан can hit a baseball a long way.
•    The glass in windows (even double pane) will not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
•    When Ты hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it is too late.
•    Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke. Lots of smoke.
•    A six год old can start a огонь with a flint rock even though a 36 год old man says they can only do it in the movies.
•    Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four год old.
•    Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
•    Super glue is forever.
•    No matter how much Jell-O Ты put in a swimming pool Ты still can't walk on water.
•    Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
•    VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials Показать they do.
•    Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
•    Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
•    You probably do not want to know what that odour is.
•    Always look in the духовой шкаф, печь before Ты turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
•    The огонь department in Austin, TX has a 5 минута response time.
•    The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
•    It will however make Кошки dizzy.
•    Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
This is How Miss Teen South Carolina Ответы her thought-provoking question. Why do we give people like the Название of 'Miss USA'? I for one do not want her representing our country.....
video
miss teen usa
south carolina
really stupid people
funny
added by Jijulik
added by BiteMeCullen107
posted by Fangirl99
Chapter 2:the mysterious sign

Vanessa Colorado of Waysway school was going to her locker to get her stupid homework. She was tried,in pain,and achy. She thought it was just a cold,but it was a lot worse than she knew. “oh,look who the cat dragged in,”said Susan,the meanest chic in school.

“shut up,ok?”Vanessa сказал(-а) sternly. “im in a really bad mood.”

“why? Cause Ты realized your having a bad hair day?”katie asked. the 3 laughed.

“hey!leave her alone!”called out kylie,who was walknig to her locker.

“oh,look,im so scared,what are Ты gonna do about it?”taunted susan.

“thats...
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Mysterious love
-chapter six-

As we walked down the hall he looked like he wanted too say something but he didnt.
So I said"Is there somthing wrong,do I look bad или somthing?"
no Ты look beautiful dont ever think Ты are not the prettyest thing in the world" He said
"I am sorry." He said...

"For what mathew?"I said
"For upsetting you." "You didnt dont worry" I said

By then we had reached the art room when the teacher сказал(-а) "Class Ты will need a piece of paper."
We both sat down in our seats and took out a piece of paper and then the teacher сказал(-а) "I want Ты to draw what ever Ты feel in your heart.What...
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-Im sorry did my back hurt you're knife?

-Never turn you're back on a friend, thats the best target.

-While you're stabbing my back, Ты can Kiss my жопа, попка too.

-All the mistakes in the world couldnt measure up to the день i thought i could trust you.

-Yeah, being apathetic is a pathetic way to be...
but I don't care, what matters to Ты does not matter to me

-When your up, your Друзья know who Ты are.
When you're down, Ты know who your Друзья are.

-You can't laugh last If I stab Ты in the throat with...the нож Ты left in my back.

-I was the one who сказал(-а) things changed;
you were the one who proved...
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1) Follow complete strangers around for 10 minutes, then speak into your воротник and say, "Harrold, we have a situation. Subject 367 is unresponsive. Code 163!"

2) When Ты get onto the elevator, laugh hysterically for 5 seconds, then glare at the other passengers as if they are crazy.

3)Run up the "down" escalators, shrieking hysterically, and when Ты reach the top, fall silent and glare at other shoppers as if they are crazy.

4) Approach a stranger in any Wal-Mart and hand them a шпатель and say, with authority, "The future of the Earth depends on it." Abruptly turn around and walk away....
continue reading...
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by PoddoChan
Source: DeviantART.com
added by jlhfan624
Source: 1280x800.com
added by twilovers
Source: idk ):
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
Ok so me and a friend wrote a little play on the school bus. It's about two Друзья riding the bus together and chatting. It's called Druckies. Not sure why but the two characters are named Z and Awesome

Awesome:Hey

Z:hi!I like pie

Awesome:Ok....

Z:Whats my Z stand for?

Awesome: Zebra. Yup your new name is Zebra

Z:COOL!

Awesome:Don't forget to remeber me...

Z:I see a пони with dolk-a-dots

Awesome: With strawberries.

Z:OOOO and cotton candy!

Awesome: Cotton candy?

Z:I'm going to marry big bird.

Awesome: Good luck with that

Z:Oh look a red fox. AWW! that red лиса, фокс is eating a kitty! No wait thats not a cat...
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posted by shiriny
-It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

-People say "Bless you" when Ты sneeze because when Ты sneeze, your сердце stops for a millisecond.

-It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky

-111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

-All polar bears are left handed.

-Butterflies taste with their feet.

-A улитка can sleep for three years.

-Elephants are the only Животные that can't jump

-On average, people fear spiders еще than they do death.

-The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

-Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

-Men can read smaller print than women,...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Ride mechanical Лошади with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
Try pants on backwards at GAP. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
At the bottom of an escalator, scream “My SHOELACES! AAAGH!”
Ask the sales personnel at the Музыка store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos или rubles.
Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.
Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King . . . but save a few...
continue reading...
posted by BellaCullen96
Act like Ты know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
Add extra letters to words, ex: пицца becomes pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa
After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
Answer their Вопросы with questions.
Ask about пицца maintenance and repair.
Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
Ask for chips/fries with everything!
Ask for extra homo-sapien
Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
Ask how many...
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added by ilovekud
Source: ilovekud
added by Helen-Lover
added by iFly_12