Disclaimer: I didn't make any of these. Credit goes to their original creators.
1. Q. What did Бэтмен say to Robin before they got in the car?
A. Get in the car
2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.
"Long day?" the bartender asks.
"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.
3. Q. What does an Eagle and a моль have in common?
A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.
4. A утка walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The утка doesn't say anything because its a duck.
5. Q. What did the farmer say when he Остаться в живых his tractor?
A. Wheres my tractor?
6. A: Knock knock!
B: Come in.
7. Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident.
8. Have Ты seen Stevie Wonder's new house?
No.
Well, it's really nice.
9. Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are Ты a tree?
No.
10. What do Ты call a man with no arms или legs on the doorstep?
Whatever his name happens to be.
_____________________________________________
And that's all for now.
1. Q. What did Бэтмен say to Robin before they got in the car?
A. Get in the car
2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.
"Long day?" the bartender asks.
"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.
3. Q. What does an Eagle and a моль have in common?
A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.
4. A утка walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The утка doesn't say anything because its a duck.
5. Q. What did the farmer say when he Остаться в живых his tractor?
A. Wheres my tractor?
6. A: Knock knock!
B: Come in.
7. Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident.
8. Have Ты seen Stevie Wonder's new house?
No.
Well, it's really nice.
9. Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are Ты a tree?
No.
10. What do Ты call a man with no arms или legs on the doorstep?
Whatever his name happens to be.
_____________________________________________
And that's all for now.
1. Chickens say jerk jerk.
2. Cows say moop moop meep.
3. Bunnies say chirp chirp.
4. Lobsters say clurp clurp clurp.
5. Chickens say burgack burgack.
6. Драконы say shlurp shlurp.
7. Snakes say slither tither slither tither.
8. Elephants say near near fear near.
9. Moose say poooo poooo low.
10. Bears say guro guro guro.
11. Alligators say pow pow bow pow.
12. рыба say blub blub blub.
13. Единороги say ashshnifafurfur.
14. Monkeys say quack quack quack brack.
15. Frogs say rebite rebite.
2. Cows say moop moop meep.
3. Bunnies say chirp chirp.
4. Lobsters say clurp clurp clurp.
5. Chickens say burgack burgack.
6. Драконы say shlurp shlurp.
7. Snakes say slither tither slither tither.
8. Elephants say near near fear near.
9. Moose say poooo poooo low.
10. Bears say guro guro guro.
11. Alligators say pow pow bow pow.
12. рыба say blub blub blub.
13. Единороги say ashshnifafurfur.
14. Monkeys say quack quack quack brack.
15. Frogs say rebite rebite.
another monday,at waysway high school. Vanessa for hated school for mainly for 1 reason. susan.katie.ashlee.the meanest,popular,and prettiest girls in the school.they always taunt vanessa for being different. people thought ashe was different for her personality,but,that wasnt the only reason.
there was only one girl who didnt care if she was different.kylie.kylie was the smartest gilr in school,thats why she got made fun of. she was a nerd. though she had no braces,gloasses,or anything.in fact,vanessa thought kylie was prettier than susan,ashle,or katie.
People think they know vanessa,but,they dont,not yet. she had a very terrible,scary,and strange experiance.when Ты hear it,it may seem like a dream,but,its all true.its not a lie.its not a tall tale.its a true story. 100% true
this the satory of Vanessa Colorado.
there was only one girl who didnt care if she was different.kylie.kylie was the smartest gilr in school,thats why she got made fun of. she was a nerd. though she had no braces,gloasses,or anything.in fact,vanessa thought kylie was prettier than susan,ashle,or katie.
People think they know vanessa,but,they dont,not yet. she had a very terrible,scary,and strange experiance.when Ты hear it,it may seem like a dream,but,its all true.its not a lie.its not a tall tale.its a true story. 100% true
this the satory of Vanessa Colorado.
from:sponge bob
wirtten by:sponge bob
гитара by:spongeb
preformed by:sponge bob&patrick& squidward
featuring:Patrick
also featuring :squidward *sorta*
drums:patrick
singer:spongebob
lets gather around the campfire and sing the campfire song our c-a-mp-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song. and if Ты think that we cant sing it faster then your wrong but itll help if Ты just sing along
Bom Bom Bom
*sing it fast!*
C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song,C-am-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song and if Ты think that we cant sing it faster then Ты wrong but itll help if Ты just sing along.
*even faster*C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song,C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song Patrick!
"SoNG!C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E..
"squdiward1good!"
Itll help!itll help!if Ты just sing along!OH YEAH!
THE END
"
wirtten by:sponge bob
гитара by:spongeb
preformed by:sponge bob&patrick& squidward
featuring:Patrick
also featuring :squidward *sorta*
drums:patrick
singer:spongebob
lets gather around the campfire and sing the campfire song our c-a-mp-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song. and if Ты think that we cant sing it faster then your wrong but itll help if Ты just sing along
Bom Bom Bom
*sing it fast!*
C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song,C-am-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song and if Ты think that we cant sing it faster then Ты wrong but itll help if Ты just sing along.
*even faster*C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song,C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song Patrick!
"SoNG!C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E..
"squdiward1good!"
Itll help!itll help!if Ты just sing along!OH YEAH!
THE END
"
A husband went to the doctor and tells the doctor
"I think my wife is going deaf"
-Doc-"Just to find out do this test on her
stand 50 feet away from her and ask her something if she doesn't respond Переместить 10 feet closer and try the same thing as so forth"
So the husbad got Главная and found the wife preparing ужин and asks her
"Honey, Whats for dinner" No reply
he moves 10 feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" No reply
so he moved 10 еще feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" she Ответы back and says
"For the third freaking time its chicken"
"I think my wife is going deaf"
-Doc-"Just to find out do this test on her
stand 50 feet away from her and ask her something if she doesn't respond Переместить 10 feet closer and try the same thing as so forth"
So the husbad got Главная and found the wife preparing ужин and asks her
"Honey, Whats for dinner" No reply
he moves 10 feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" No reply
so he moved 10 еще feet closer and tries again
"honey whats for dinner" she Ответы back and says
"For the third freaking time its chicken"
Washington Post Competition asked for a two line rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic секунда line.
This is the (hands down!!) winner...
'My darling,my love,my beautiful life;
Marrying Ты simply demolished my life.
I see your face when i'm dreaming;
That's why i always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and HOT;
This describes everything you're not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take the paper bag off your face.
I Любовь your smile, your face, your eyes;
Damn,I'm good at telling lies!!!.'
This is the (hands down!!) winner...
'My darling,my love,my beautiful life;
Marrying Ты simply demolished my life.
I see your face when i'm dreaming;
That's why i always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and HOT;
This describes everything you're not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take the paper bag off your face.
I Любовь your smile, your face, your eyes;
Damn,I'm good at telling lies!!!.'