Disclaimer: I didn't make any of these. Credit goes to their original creators.
1. Q. What did Бэтмен say to Robin before they got in the car?
A. Get in the car
2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.
"Long day?" the bartender asks.
"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.
3. Q. What does an Eagle and a моль have in common?
A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.
4. A утка walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The утка doesn't say anything because its a duck.
5. Q. What did the farmer say when he Остаться в живых his tractor?
A. Wheres my tractor?
6. A: Knock knock!
B: Come in.
7. Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident.
8. Have Ты seen Stevie Wonder's new house?
No.
Well, it's really nice.
9. Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are Ты a tree?
No.
10. What do Ты call a man with no arms или legs on the doorstep?
Whatever his name happens to be.
_____________________________________________
And that's all for now.
1. Q. What did Бэтмен say to Robin before they got in the car?
A. Get in the car
2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.
"Long day?" the bartender asks.
"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.
3. Q. What does an Eagle and a моль have in common?
A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.
4. A утка walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The утка doesn't say anything because its a duck.
5. Q. What did the farmer say when he Остаться в живых his tractor?
A. Wheres my tractor?
6. A: Knock knock!
B: Come in.
7. Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident.
8. Have Ты seen Stevie Wonder's new house?
No.
Well, it's really nice.
9. Ask me if I'm a tree.
Are Ты a tree?
No.
10. What do Ты call a man with no arms или legs on the doorstep?
Whatever his name happens to be.
_____________________________________________
And that's all for now.
1. Empath. An empath is someone who can sense the emotions of others. They tend to feel drained after being an a crowd.
2. Shaman. Shamans can heal people and feel comfortable on nature. They sometimes feel protected by wild places, such as a forest.
3. Medium. Mediums can speak to the dead. They can sense the presense of a spirit and some have been visited by one.
4. Channeler. Someone who can act as a channel for a spirit или other otherworldly being.
5. Clair. There are a few different types of clairs, but all it means is that Ты have a very strong sense of something. For example, someone who is clairvoyant can see things miles away.
6. Telepath. Someone who can comunicate mind-to-mind with someone.
7. Dowsers или water witches. Someone who can locate water или Остаться в живых object with a rod или wand.
8. Aura readers. Aura readers can see или sense aura, или energy.
9. Animal telepath. Someone who can communicate with animals.
10. Astral projector. Someone who can leave their body.
2. Shaman. Shamans can heal people and feel comfortable on nature. They sometimes feel protected by wild places, such as a forest.
3. Medium. Mediums can speak to the dead. They can sense the presense of a spirit and some have been visited by one.
4. Channeler. Someone who can act as a channel for a spirit или other otherworldly being.
5. Clair. There are a few different types of clairs, but all it means is that Ты have a very strong sense of something. For example, someone who is clairvoyant can see things miles away.
6. Telepath. Someone who can comunicate mind-to-mind with someone.
7. Dowsers или water witches. Someone who can locate water или Остаться в живых object with a rod или wand.
8. Aura readers. Aura readers can see или sense aura, или energy.
9. Animal telepath. Someone who can communicate with animals.
10. Astral projector. Someone who can leave their body.
1.Determine how many times a week Ты eat или want to eat chocolate. It must be a number between 1 and 10, including 1 или 10.
Let's say Ты eat Шоколад 8 times a week (we won't tell).
2.Multiply that number by 2.
8 x 2 = 16
3.Add 5 to the Назад result.
16 + 5 = 21
4.Multiply that by 50.
21 x 50 = 1050
5.Add the current год (Gregorian).
1050 + 2011 = 3061
6.Subtract 250 if you've had a birthday this year. If Ты haven't had a birthday this year, subtract 251.
(Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.)
3061 - 251 = 2810
7.(Assuming Ты were born in 1975...)
2810 - 1975 = 835
8.You'll end up with a 3 или 4 digit number. The last two digits are your age (if you're under 10 years old there will be a zero before your age). The remaining one или two digits will be the number of times per week Ты eat или want Шоколад (the number Ты specified in the first step).
8 pieces of Шоколад a week, 35 years of age.
Let's say Ты eat Шоколад 8 times a week (we won't tell).
2.Multiply that number by 2.
8 x 2 = 16
3.Add 5 to the Назад result.
16 + 5 = 21
4.Multiply that by 50.
21 x 50 = 1050
5.Add the current год (Gregorian).
1050 + 2011 = 3061
6.Subtract 250 if you've had a birthday this year. If Ты haven't had a birthday this year, subtract 251.
(Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.)
3061 - 251 = 2810
7.(Assuming Ты were born in 1975...)
2810 - 1975 = 835
8.You'll end up with a 3 или 4 digit number. The last two digits are your age (if you're under 10 years old there will be a zero before your age). The remaining one или two digits will be the number of times per week Ты eat или want Шоколад (the number Ты specified in the first step).
8 pieces of Шоколад a week, 35 years of age.
5
Scarlet
I tried to brush Dominic's hair away from his eyes. This time he let me. He had one green eye that was a completely different pattern then the black one. His eye had been replaced.
"Your lucky," I said. "I heard in 3017 they couldn't do that." I continued. "you started being able to in 3018."
"I'm not lucky." He said,"it could have just not happened."
"What did happen?"
"It's a long story. Ты wouldn't like it anyway."
"No I really would."
"No. I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok. Ты can tell me if Ты ever want to."
"Ok. Well I won't."
Scarlet
I tried to brush Dominic's hair away from his eyes. This time he let me. He had one green eye that was a completely different pattern then the black one. His eye had been replaced.
"Your lucky," I said. "I heard in 3017 they couldn't do that." I continued. "you started being able to in 3018."
"I'm not lucky." He said,"it could have just not happened."
"What did happen?"
"It's a long story. Ты wouldn't like it anyway."
"No I really would."
"No. I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok. Ты can tell me if Ты ever want to."
"Ok. Well I won't."
At the end of series 3, Ты never really find out what happens to Zuko's Mom, do you? well, I've got an idea, check this out:
Ozai wanted to be firelord, but Azulon wouldn't let him be Далее in line, yadda yadda yadda, Iroh and Lu Ten, yadda yadda yadda, Ozai has to kill his first born son. But Ursa didn't like that so she planned a plan so that Ozai would be firelord and Zuko would live, but then Ursa was banished and I THINK that Ozai killed Azulon but who knows. So, Ursa is banished, and I don't really know where she's gone....but remember when Aang was in the spirit world and he had to talk to "The Face Stealer" (Can't remember the name-sorry) and he changes his face, Right? Well Ты know that face или a girl with long dark hair? Doen't she look alot like Ursa? If Ты don't think so just have a look at how different Azula looked when she was crazy and cut her hair.
Think about it...I could be right!
So she of trapped in THE SPIRIT WORLD<--------
Ozai wanted to be firelord, but Azulon wouldn't let him be Далее in line, yadda yadda yadda, Iroh and Lu Ten, yadda yadda yadda, Ozai has to kill his first born son. But Ursa didn't like that so she planned a plan so that Ozai would be firelord and Zuko would live, but then Ursa was banished and I THINK that Ozai killed Azulon but who knows. So, Ursa is banished, and I don't really know where she's gone....but remember when Aang was in the spirit world and he had to talk to "The Face Stealer" (Can't remember the name-sorry) and he changes his face, Right? Well Ты know that face или a girl with long dark hair? Doen't she look alot like Ursa? If Ты don't think so just have a look at how different Azula looked when she was crazy and cut her hair.
Think about it...I could be right!
So she of trapped in THE SPIRIT WORLD<--------
Derpy
