Болталка Article: 10 Anti Jokes

7

posted by -SkySplitter-

Disclaimer: I didn't make any of these. Credit goes to their original creators.

1. Q. What did Бэтмен say to Robin before they got in the car?

A. Get in the car

2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

3. Q. What does an Eagle and a моль have in common?

A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

4. A утка walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The утка doesn't say anything because its a duck.

5. Q. What did the farmer say when he Остаться в живых his tractor?

A. Wheres my tractor?

6. A: Knock knock!

B: Come in.

7. Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident.

8. Have Ты seen Stevie Wonder's new house?

No.

Well, it's really nice.

9. Ask me if I'm a tree.

Are Ты a tree?

No.

10. What do Ты call a man with no arms или legs on the doorstep?

Whatever his name happens to be.
_____________________________________________
And that's all for now.

ESTME, izfankirby and 5 others like this

Bvb_Sws_TH_BMTH lol, so using these

BlindBandit92 XD

Zeppie I remember when joke number 5 was all the rage back in my primary school....there wasn't a day where you didn't hear that joke xD

jessy_an Hahaha that's really very funny XD

x-Yumi-x3 😂

3

The End Of Everything, The End Of DemiGod Apolla

posted by Android_21

The End Of Everything, The End Of Apolla
Song-Fic. Song: Lights By Ellie Goulding, The BassNectar Remix

Late in the evening, around 9:30 p.m., 12 год old Apolla Falconer awoke with a start. Everything around her was pitch black, all except from the оранжевый улица, уличный lights, who's beams came faintly through the blinded windows. Apolla quickly raised her head from the cold, sticky surface it was on. With her incredible night- vision, she found out that the surface was a стол письменный, стол from her school. Apolla looked around even еще and saw that she was in her own classroom, in fact. "Why the 'ell am I in...

4

Shy (my секунда song!)

posted by xboxrocksx45

Ты just shut the door i fell like еще when Ты say i'm shy i cry saying why? why? do Ты make sure to Любовь me even though i'm shy do Ты ever ever ever think to try? do Ты think of me? when Ты say shy shy shy i say why and i'll sit and think about waiting when Ты say hi well than Ты won't be mine! yes this is Любовь but does it hurt? when i cry? when Ты say shy and i know it's true but i'm alright i and i Любовь you! why would say means things why would Ты say the stuff that stings why would Ты say that word when i know Ты much? i don't think i would be with Ты if i knew a thing или two about your life Ты backstabbing нож i trusted Ты and yet Ты still flew without me

4

Perfect

posted by icuSTALKER

She's beautiful...
Her brown eyes sparkle.
Her nails are perfect.
Her golden brown hair shines like polished wood.
She is an average height for twenty-one.
She's playful, friendly.
She never gets mad.
She loves food.
She hugs Ты a lot.
Don't Ты Любовь her?
I do...
I Любовь my dog.
:D:D:D:D:D:D

3

What I can Do(chapter1)

posted by adaug

Ты can only live once, but if Ты do it right, once is enough. -Mae West.
I didn't believe that the first time I heard it,but one tiny mistake,can change your live...Forever.
April 19,1999.
The clock read 7:43,I got out of bed.I was late for school.When I left,I didn't say bye to mom или dad.I just left.On the way there,I remembered a physics test I had to take,and if I failed it,I got an F in physics!So,at my lunch hour,I went to the library.I saw my two Друзья already studying.I went over there and we started laughing and talking,but the librarian told us to be quiet.Then she went in the hall.Then...

3

Tessa owes some money-A Болталка story

posted by robobot14

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!",a teen named Tessa screamed as she was falling down a hole.

Everyone gasped.

"NO!!!",her friend Dana yelled

"Tessa!",another friend,Martha shouted."No!No!No!No!No!No!!You still owe me 50 bucks,man!"

"That darn lady,she украл, палантин our money,man!",a cowboy said."What a shame"

"No..", a girl named Erica whispered.

"Oh my god!",cowboy said

Everyone sobbed."All that money!", a lady named Lisa wailed."No!!!!!!!"

"The money is gone,man!",Lisa's sister Sara whined.

The cowboy sighed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!",Martha screamed."MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!"

3

звезда Power! By: Blood On The Dance Floor

posted by RosaluvzJB

Bunker bustin' mega ultra super, ahh ahhh! Holy crap, ahh!
Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! K.O.!

One-up, power up, already leveled up
Options set to difficult, Любовь a challenge, typical
Raging through my enemies, kicking жопа, попка so happily
Supernova, bend Ты over, to the lava! game over!

I'm saying "Yay!" when I'm knocking Ты right off the stage,
B*tches hate but I don't play, smash a Goomba any day!
I'm on a mission, trying to save the princess!
Dashing, smashing, knock Ты outta commission!

I'm a killer like a Manson, you're blowin' like you're Hanson,
Your powers are weak when Ты go against me,
You...

3

Болталка Cleverbot Conversatons...

posted by MissChicky97

User: I'm the Doctor. I'm a timelord from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm 903 years old, and I'm the man who's gonna save your lives and all six billion people below.

Cleverbot: No you're not. You're saying Болталка stock phrases which have no relevance whatsoever to what I say to you.

User: What? WHAT? WHAT?!?!?!

Cleverbot: How is you?

User: I'm trying to save the world and the TARDIS pulled up some Болталка application.

Cleverbot: That is impossible. Ты have no means to do so. Ты cannot feel emotion.

User: OI! I can feel emotions. I'm not completely alien Ты know!!...

3

Dangerous and Adventurous:Book 2(chapter 1,Sarah)

posted by adaug

It was Thursday.10:07 a.m.I got out of my bed,and went down for breakfast."Yeah,okay.Yes,yes I understand.Thanks for calling."Mom сказал(-а) and hung up the phone."Hi honey."She greeted."I'll be right back."Mom left the kitchen.I picked up my napkin when.CLING!I saw Alicia and Henry in my kitchen!"What the-Why did Ты do that?"I asked."You need to come to the дерево house!"Alicia demanded.
"The what?"I asked.
Henry and Alicia gasped.
"Get dressed and hurry!"Alicia demanded.
I ran to my room.I think I remembered the дерево house.I remember Maybelle.I remembered Ariana.I didn't quite remember the дерево house.I...

5

one fine day?

posted by hetaliaitaly

One fine день in the middle of the night two dead me got u to fight back to back they faced

eachother drew there swords and shot eachother

the deff policeman heard the noise and came to arrest thoughs two young boys if u dont believe me u know its true ask the blind man he saw to.

(i like that thing или whatever u call it lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im only puting this part because the Статья is not long enough and blahblahblah and all that stuff and stuff and oh my god how long does it need to be)

4

замок in the sky-lyrics :)

posted by tokidoki123

There's a place in my mind
No one knows where it hides
And my Фэнтези is flying
It's a замок in the sky

It's a world of our past
Where the legend still lasts
And the king wears the crown
But the magic spell is law

Take your sword and your shield
There's a battle on the field
You're a knight and you're right
So with Драконы now you'll fight

And my fancy is flying
It's a замок in the sky
или there's nothing out there
These are castles in the air

Fairytales live in me
Fables coming from my memory
Фэнтези is not a crime
Find your замок in the sky

You've got the key
Of the kingdom of the clouds
Open the door
Leaving back your doubts

You've got the power
To live another childhood
So ride the wind
That leads Ты to the moon 'cause..."

3

Dangerous and Adventurous (chapter 1)

posted by adaug

11 year-old Sarah sat in her room.Brown hair.Blue eyes.And black boots."Sarah!Alicia is here!"Mom yelled."Bring her in!"Sarah said."Hey!"Alicia greeted."Ya ready?"She asked."Almost."She snapped the lid on her marker.Alicia whistled."Wo-ow!That's amazing!"She said.Admiring a Drawing of the fat words spelling out "Live.Love.Hope."."Come on!We're late!"Both girls ran outside."Bye mom!"Sarah сказал(-а) bounding out the door.The girls met 12 год old Henry at a орех-пекан, пекан tree."Hey!Step aside!I'll open it!"Sarah said,pushing Henry aside so she could put in the combination."Okay!Come up."Sarah сказал(-а) opening...

3

nyan cat lyrics

posted by amy36y

nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan

3

10 ways to tell somone is a massive justin bieber Фан

posted by hetaliaitaly

1. they will sing his songs

2.they will blush when they here somone say his name или talk about one of his new songs

3.they will have atleast one picture of him

4.gets upset if they cant go to one of his concerts

5. wont be afraid to say hes cool

6.listens to his Музыка every night to go to sleep with

7.will ask Ты if Ты have heard his new song

8.screams if someone else says i Любовь justin beiber

9.is always talking about a video they watched of him on youtube

10.will say they hate или Любовь whatever he does even if they hate it или Любовь it

2

What I'm afraid of XD(it's SOOOOOOOO STUPID!!)

posted by Texas_Boy

I'm stupid.I'm 18 and I'm STILL afraid of tooth fairies.....my cousin(Not ANDY!),Edricle(Ed-ric.cle) use to tell me funny nonsense until one день he came up with this idea the scare me.THE TOOOOOOOOOOTH FAIRY!!!One день when I was watching the TV,he came up to me and said"hey,do u know why do tooth Феи take yr teeth?" I asked"why?"so he said"They take yr teeth and use super glue and glue them together to make dentures for OLD PEOPLE!!!" that kinda freaked me out and whenever I loose a teeth,I'll burry it in the ground at the backyard where my dad does his planting.That's when my dad found...

1

The Black Killer Chapter 1

posted by adaug

There once was a girl named,Josie,Josie had black hair,she was a cop,she was 'bout 19,"Mom!!!WHERES MY PHONE?"Said Josie
"I DON'T KNOW!"Her mom said."FINE!I'll just go to my friend's apartment!WITHOUT CALLING!"Josie argued.
Josie drove to her friend's apartment."Kate!"She saw her friend lay dead on the диван, мягкий уголок with blood running down her face."OH MY GOD!HELP!!!!!911!"
- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - --- - ---
1 месяц later,Josie tried to find out who killed her best friend.She later found out that she had a sister that was murdered in 1989.Her mom was dating a detective,So he helped her ."Okay,It...

2

Best Друзья mabey еще PT 1

posted by envyelric

The start and the only chapter: "Oh my god there's a sale on MINISKIRTS Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" "Envy just SHUT UP!!!! Ты are a GUY NOT A GIRL!!!!" Lust yells at Envy as he stares at the miniskirt sale sign. "Hey Ты bums want simethin или are Ты goin to keep starin in my store like a couple of freaks?" "Uh I guess that we can look around." "Come on Lust there is a sale on MINISKIRTS here lets go in and buy some MINISKIRTS!!!!!!!!!" Lust just groans as Envy dragged her in the store. "Um Lust?" "Yeah?" "Why is the Fullmetal Pipsqueak here?" "WHAT?!" "That voice, is that Envy and Lust? Al do Ты hear...

4

Fun ways to annoy Harry Potter

posted by lupichkata

Sorry, if it's too short, but that's all i could think of.
1. Go to him and say "I know what Ты did last summer and i'll tell Ron." and see what his reaction is.
2. Poke him with a wand или a stick and when he turns around, pretend it wasn't you.
3. Tell him he has his mother's eyes and his father's package.
4. Laugh hysterically every time he walks in front of Ты and when he asks why whisper "I've read your diary." then run away. Still laughing hysterically.
5. Ask him how his parents are.
6. Ask him if Dumbledore has proposed yet.
7. Write an erotic story about Snape and Harry's mom and read it...

1

IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE

posted by karpach_14

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once Ты find what Ты are looking for, Ты can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling Ты what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The Друзья laugh and without hesitation Переместить on to...

1

кабина for the Summer-Chapter Nine:James

posted by moolah

James

кабина for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Nine: James

I’m James Ricky Reese. I live with my little sister, Cassie, and my older brother (he’s a bum), Greg. I have a hot girlfriend named Chelsea and annoying parents named Kristi and Bobby.
Anyways, I am Пение my Избранное song, 21 Оружие by Green день whenever I hear the all American, annoying Beth scream. It’s not this scared, “It’s a spider” scream. It’s this really excited scream. “OH MY GOD HE’S COMING HERE TONIGHT!” I look over at her and expect her to be jumping up and down...

1

кабина for the Summer-Chapter Seven-Laken

posted by moolah

кабина for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Seven: Laken

Hi! I’m Laken Reese Barenshsky. I’m 19 and I live with my parents and my 15 год old brother, Jason. I have the most wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, Tori. She’s pretty, she has long brown hair, that’s naturally curly, brown eyes and her smile is gorgeous, like I’ve just been snapped with the sun! God, she’s sexy.
“GOALLLLLLLL!” I scream whenever I kick the груша into the side of this мусорный контейнер, корзина для мусора, корзины in the back of the store. Zack grumbles (because he’s a loser!) and we keep kicking this...